When something feels good, but is too questionable for you to just go with it, then more than likely there is at the very least something FOR YOU in it.
> AS LONG AS YOUR INTENTIONS ARE GOOD < then it cannot be bad.
Weather something to learn, or something to realize, or even just a stepping-stone to make you ready for someting else.
Sometimes in life, it can happen that there is something good for us in what we otherwise know as, or see as, being bad in some way, or somehow incorrect in some way, or just wrong somehow. …it doesn’t have to mean that we have to take it all/do it all/go all the way… we have our intuition, or gut feeling, or whatever you can best call it according to your own senses.
Too many of our beliefs are rather more indoctrinations than truth. And much more than just that, we tend to pull back out of fear. If we pay closer attention to the details of our feelings (which come from what we think) especially when deciding something, then most of us will find that there is some fear-factor holding us back. …some fear of doing wrong, making a mistake …but most of us are also wise enough to know where there is real danger, which is a totally different thing. Of course you don’t take a stupid dangerous risk. …that could handicap you for life, or kill you for example.
Personally I have many experiences wherein it has turned out to be true that we are too fearful. Though it isn’t untill now, that I have started to realize and understand this.
For example;
Because I was born to parents that were successful musicians, there was alot of traveling in my life, already from the time I was born, and as I grew older and circumstances were changing, the traveling never stopped. So I feel as if born to travel, and I don’t feel content with beeing all year round in the same one place only. So of course it came up that I wanted to really explore the world I live in, really discover this amazing planet I live on, as much as I could. So eventually by the end of my teens I started a seemingly impossible search mission, for how I could get out of Denmark/Copenhagen, to travel freely, which to me meant changing countries whenever I want or feel I should. To everyone I knew, it was absolutely an unrealistic idea, and durring the approx. 3 years it took to find my “key to the world”, it did look more and more impossible from all angles, with all the discoveries I was making allong the way.
But I couldn’t give up, because in the back of my mind I was aware of one very interesting fact, that none of us really truly know what is realistic, as History shows that all to clearly. So I felt that something will pop up if I keep looking and searching. And eventually exactly that happened, but through totally unexpected ways, through things that seemed like they had absolutley nothing to do with my mission. It came through my good intentions of wanting to help a friend to realize her dreams. …which I by the way had to pull out of her.
Her dreams seemed quite silly/rediculous to me, but I was telling myself not to judge (and she did make me promise not to laugh) as she finally described;
I wanna be that kind of woman they show in the Shampoo commercial, who follows the time and progress, who people respect and listen to, as she walks into the conference room.
I felt that this was the kind of thing that she would end up achieving on her own if she really wanted it, as she was still studiyng anyway. And should thre come a time where I could help her in that, perhaps if she would come to a point where she would have to know, to decide for getting more specific on what carrer choises and direction she would have to make, then I would, being her best friend, naturally come to know of, if I could be of any help. And so I managed to pull out of her, that she did have another dream. This one she was much more shy about, but she did manage to get it out, and said;
Remember this music video from Aerowsmith?, where the two girls end up in a bar where there is a stage, and one of the girls gets up on the stage and makes half a strip-tease show. Well at least once in my life I want to experience being the girl who all the men admire like that, and drop jaws over.
I immediately connected that to the memory of my grandmother having at home the little magazine for tourists, called Copenhagen This Week, because since her husband died, she was struggling to stay living in her villa by renting rooms out to tourists. And in the back of this magazing, on the last pages I had seen some night-club, for men to go look at girls doing strip-tease. So I immediately thought, I can help her arrange for a night like that. And I promissed her that this, we can easily make come true. She was always to afraid to just go and do most anything, and I figured it was because her mother was over-protecting her and spoiling her too much, so she never had to do anything herself or take responsability. And having grown up together, since age 9, I knew her well enough to know that this was never gonna happen, unless I helped her arrange it and would go with her, and so I did.
About half a year later, still on my mission for finding a way to travel freely, I was looking at international job adds, and today I know that if it wasn’t for her silly dream, my mind would never have registered this one particular add, about an agency looking for sexy females, offering periodical dancing-job contracts and topless bartending contracts, in New York, Vienna, Greece and other places in the world. And only because I knew she would do it (if I would go with her) I thought I could manage it as well in our togetherness. So I called for an appointment, which eventually became the source that made me discover my “key to the world” for traveling freely.
On my own I would have been fearful (neverming really noticing the add) because such a thing was not really part of my perception, and even if I had known of this job being an option, I would have considered it bad/wrong/disgraceful and so on. And on top of all that, I was also much too shy and insecure, especially about my body, and I sure did not feel beautiful enough. But I believed that she would do it, and in that case, at least we could hide a bit by being behind the bar, because I always felt, that together we can do and be anything we want in this world.
She did end up going dancin, without me, with a group of other Danish girls from the agency, and as I was seeing how she was traveling and saving up money, and coming back home with loads of photos showing off all the good times in sunny places, it all provoked me to grow the courage to eventually join her.
I am so deeply grateful to myself, for never giving up on my impossible-looking dream, to travel freely. And looking back I find, that my personal growth became so multidimentional. …by multidimentional I mean that it is very clear to me, that I would never have been able to grow so much, in so many ways, on so many different levels, if I had not spent over a decade globetrotting alone in a job that allows you, depending on your level of correctness and your level of active intelligence, to move about and in and out, of all different levels of life and hierarchies, all different environments, mentalities and so on. ….yes I ended up traveling alone, some 80% of the time, because she stayed behind in Greece, and it was clear that if I didn’t manage to have the guts to go on alone, then I would wait for her forever, and never get further, instead of using this “key” to the world that I now finally had.
I could give many more and totally different examples than this one. But I think this one is a great and even perfect example. So I will leave it at that, at least for now.
If you have any stories yourself, that give an example of how you felt something was good for you, as if hidden within something that otherwise seemed like it could be just bad, THEN PLEASE DO COMMENT BY SHARING THIS ACHIEVED WISDOM OF YOURS.
Guts Of My Universe - Journaling by SmilaZ 