What do I like/love about me!?

Hm… well, this feels del yet raw. …and lke I have to be bold to decode what I in fact really feel on this subject at this point.

My normal and healthy body.

…and finally even my hair. …and all of me.

Even my not muscletoned looking belly.

My strong immune system.

My ability to keep going on, even through burn out, anxiety, depression, and such.

My strengths and my weaknesses.

My love and loving.

My ability to understand.

My ability to forgive.

My ability to see with my inner eye.

My levels of friendship.

My bravery in friendships.

I haven’t yet met any love, any power plant/powerhouse for a friend like myself.

My bravery,

in honesty and preference for truth,

no matter what the truth may be.

My curiosity.

My knowledge, and my hunger for knowledge.

My choosing what feels most relevant to me.

My childlike desire for movement.

That I’m an explorer and an adventurer.

That I don’t lie.

That I’m not into drugs, and find it all breading more essense of ‘fake’ into the world.

That I don’t really judge much,

but feel my way instead.

– SmilaZ –


I don’t like that I’m a procrastinating space cake, who generally feels saddened by the world of people. … lfeels like I care and give too much, not having gotten even just half in return. Yet still, I generally care about what people think and feel. Makes me feel so stupid, even though I know it’s the effects of the human society that is the stupid factor making people so unloving, so cold, so seperated, so lost/lonely.


“The Family” of invisible leadership

The Family documentary mini series brings forth thoughts …

(NOTE: unedited text)

The idea of “the chosen ones” is to those so called leaders, supposedly choices done by God. But obviously They themselves are the ones doing the choosing, and then making it look like it’s the public votes and such, while we now (almost) all know, that they manipulate everything in all sorts of imaginable and unimaginable ways, to achieve their preferred choices and their goals.

In this documentary, it also stands out, that Religions are made up to disarm the people of the world, so they can easily be ruled over.

One of the first things you hear, already in part one, should to any sane person sound alarming. …about if you had raped 3 little girls, it’s not up to me to judge you. Okay, surely we shouldn’t judge on average, but let’s not be overly stupid and exaggerate like that, when we can all without even judging, just plainly know in our hearts, that it is just plainly bad and absolutely wrong, no matter how much you refrain from judging. Just like too much of anything is bad for you, this is one of those too much cases. There is a healthy limit to everything. And the man goes on saying that not only is he not there to judge, but also that he is there to support whatever you want, and that if a few people stick together and pray together, they can do anything.

At some other point, as well early in the serries, we hear further on this ideas of how we are not to judge, that God is all the time aware of an individual’s intentions, while The Family is just here to support no matter what the intentions are. Well, so then a good God would of course not choose any person with any bad intentions, to have any part in the lead of the world. Very obviously it is all man made ideas.

At one of their traditional Prayer Breakfast meetings, it was said that evil must be defeated, making it sound right to be fighting ~which is making wars ~which is bombing and shooting other humans ~which is killing. That is obviously judging this so called other side, which “you” then go on killing. And all the while they use the name of Jesus.

It’s all just using words of simple language, twisting truth.

Closer to the truth, since you’re not supposed to judge another, you can only have the natural rights, to be defeating the evil within yourself, such as refraining from raping some 3 little girls.


…is portrayed as a devils thing. Here, as usual, the truth is hidden in plain sight, as the word is derived from commune. And we know that commune is a group of people sharing. And the truth of communism is, that originally it came out of a beautiful philosophical idea of sharing everything, in order for everyone to be equal, so that noone would have too much, while others would not have enough or not have anything at all. And this idea got messed up allong the wa, by who!?, yes!, by the leaders. …as usual.

The first attempt of communism happened in europe, in a time where Kings were the rulers. People gathered on their own and formed a community within which there was no money, but where everyone would exchange and share instead. Everything was wisely devided, and so there was no so called taxes either. It worked so well that it grew, as other villages and towns were joining in. Of course this started putting the kingdoms in a position of gradually loosing power, which gradually would make them loose their excess of wealth as well. So the Kings gathered together, and sent their armies out to kill them all, which they successfully did. Everyone, men women, children and the elderly were all slaughtered.

So now, let’s look again; what or who is of the devil? Hello!?

Humans in general are so naive. But which is in fact a thing of innocence. So it’s the easiest thing in the world to do evil, hiding behind the ideologies of Jesus and God. Very smart and clever, to travel around the world, louring every other leadership into their twisted and corrupted beliefs, using Jesus to disguise their missions of agenda, while praying together and singing songs of Jesus, louring all other leaders in the world to believing what these sick leaders seem to be speaking, speaking.

But as we can see on all those leaders faces and in their eyes, some of them are so pleased and thrilled with how they got the entire world fooled, while others of them obliviously and seriously believe in their own (twisted and rather more psychopathic) ideas of beliefs.

If I the writer here would be wrong, then going out killing any person, would be God’s will according to all what these leaders preach. So this is just another logic approach to it all, which reveals just how they manipulate, by twisting all truth.


The greatest man of war, is a senseless statement, for no man of war is great.


The Magical Effects Of Tidying Up

I had no idea! But now, from own experience …

Here is a good place to remember that literally everything is energy. So all the stuff we hold keep and own, is also of different energies. And all though those different energies will mostly just depend on our own feeling connections to each of those things, they still clog up our energy, by hogging up space in our energyfield. …and as my mind is now making its inner eye image of that as I’m saying it, I do preffer the energyspace image where there is less strings/wires in it. …and I guess especially those from just things!, especially stuff I don’t even really use. …ew and more stuff is all more dust collections. …and that’s energy too.

But the discovery in personal experience went as follows. …years ago.

It was within the first year, of my independent-adult globetrotter life. I had just been through a “surprise abortion” in a foreign country, while my best friend, my life’s sister, went out with a guy who’s flirting with me had been the only thing making me smile and forget a bit about every hurting thing, including a long sad hard breakup. And while really, just to make it.even more careless, she actually had a crush on one of the other guys in his group.

We were all dancers, we were in Vienna, and it was winter. …beginning of February to be exact.

I was home, in the “working-class penthouse” dancers flat. Alone in the entire place, while my sister-friend was working, and the girls in the other room had all gone back home. Three of them to Portugal, and one to England.

I was deeply incredibly sad, but I had energy so to occupy myself with something, to not have too much space for my mind and heart in hurting sadness, I ended up fixing up the entire flat, re-organizing stuff and cleaning everything. And once I was done and started relaxing, then I noticed how I actually felt kinda’ good now, and looking at my whole sotuation in that moment, from that state of feeling, all my trouble and sadness just looked and felt with a better perspective aproach for myself, and that feelt better.

I felt clear about things, all in all it somehow made me feel uncluttered, and somewhat lighter and brighter, to clean up. It just felt as if what I had been doing in the outside around me, my sytem had been imitating ~ doing inside of me, so to say.

But however and whatever, the effects made me feel good. And I ended up having a good and beautiful time, the rest of the 4 months in Vienna.

And years later,

something similar with a similar inner impact happened while living on ibiza.

While I had been away for 9 months, the friend I had trusted with my house on the island, had betrayed me with the rent I was sending, so that in the end I owed some 15.000,- just to get my things back, while the owner had now already rented my house out to someone new, and was keeping my personal stuff bellow the house. So as I stopped working and returned to the island exhausted (from the past months having been hard and useless) and pretty much emptyhanded, and so I stayed for another two years time without my belongings.

But when I eventually did get my things back, suddenly while so to say intergrating my stuff at home, which was mostly just clothes and such, I noticed a really odd feeling on the 3rd day as I was unpacking and organizing. There was a very subtle difference in how I was feeling in general, in all the space I was in, all the space around me and in me, and how that had a slight effect over my whole general feeling constantly. (…thereby to my very beeing in fact of course.) It was a feeling best described as, …up until now I had felt all this freeflow and open feeling space, almost like world untouched kind of energy of possibilities. Totally opposite in comparison to how I was now feeling, after having my stuff back since a few days. Oddly enough I could feel very clear that it was the stuff, its accumulation.

Funny enough, all the happiest people I know, always want something new but never hold on to anything. And Yes they also Are always very generous people.


I am guessing that most of us know the word Zen, and associate some clean simplicity with it. …probably something good-feelin, clean and simple, and very neatly beautiful.

Among other nations and areas, the Japanese also have highly regarded forms of simplicity. Especially in their neat traditions regarding the spaces around them, rooms as well as gardens. Seems that it must be old wisdom.

On Another Personal Note two years of creativity flowing non-stop while obsessively into an own made project, being the whole time in highest gear durring times where my living spaces where physically just simple and comfortable, without an overflow of everything, and without stuff to store and such, except for my project stuff. And ok, on top I was living kind of in, ok surrounded by, the nature of northern ibiza. Waking up to views of stunning nature, and walking barefoot outside for coffe, feeling blessed and thankful, including to the very self of me, for having found and made Ibiza my Home years before. Who could stay non-stop in sadness all day in a paradise environment!?

It was the comfortable simplicity and nature that charged me!, into super flow mode. Functioning absolutely optimally and perfectly for what I wanted.

When I later moved with a husband type of boyfriend to Berlin, that very project didn’t fit life anymore, and so it was “put on the shelf” put on hold. But I still love that project. …so it just has it’s right time.

Cleanliness & Order is also one of the best habbits, always causing me to be making … keep creating, that very comfortable simplicity feeling environment. For having these habits I am lucky I am blessed, to be able to say, I am full of gratitude to my father and grandMother for those. Especially when I see how other people don’t have a hand on that first simple step, for oneself in and with ones own invironment, how challenging it aparently is for so many, just the very plain cleanliness and order, even when they want to they’re having struggle with it. When I see how many people are strugling with that Part of living, upliftingly easy, in and with and thereby from their own surroundings …their own soil, then I’m always a bit stunned.

Living in the big Artist Residence in Berlin, called Greenhouse for 2 years, once I had moved out I realized I was slightly traumatized and depressed with humans from the helplessness and destruction these so called artists were/are doing in this building. The whole two years there, I kept having some creativity block, and felt nervous and restless mental energy, like never before.

There are definitely some good magical effects in tidying up.

Check out this video for more inspiration to make you tidy up. ««« by just clicking this link-text.

Also, feel free to share in comments bellow, your own energy experience with tidying up.

Wish you a tidy and perfect day.