On this note, I must now add to ‘The Guts Of My Universe’, ‘The Guts Of My Body’;
Normally I HAVE THE GUTS to do almost anything and even make impossible things possible here and there. But since the end of the year 2007 my stomac got messed up by antibiotics, given to me for another infected hair-folicle.
I trusted doctors blindly, and had always felt safe and relieved with them. Untill this time around.
The only thing I knew of antibiotics, was that they always work really well. And I had never even heard about probiotics at all! Untill this time around.
This time around, the hair-folicle was seemingly recovering with antibiotics as well as anything else would, but my eyelids started getting a red dry and burning.
I was in Paris, visiting my boyfriend who had a brasserie place called Les Funambules or so, with whom we’d be dining out at different places every other day, and since he’d order good redwines, always a whole bottles, so “of course” I ended up joining him a bit, feeling so safe with my experience of antibiotics, I thought alcohol will not really hurt and people say alcohol just takes the effect of the medivine away. But oh WOW how damn wrong all that is!
Eating out at classic trendy restaurants feels good and the food may be great, but I know that’s not really the healthy diet. But before returning to my own rythms and habits back home on ibiza, (just 1day after the rash had started) I went to my Egyptian brother Mohamed in Denmark, where the rash gradually started spreading, which felt like my face was turning into a burning dessert from within.
Mohamed has never exactly been health oriented, and so had alot of caffeinated tea with refined suggar, and ate loads of toast bread with pasteurized cheese, etc and what not.
I decided not to go to the doctor, because I knew he would just give me a cortisone cream instead of finding the cause, so I wanted to rather just stay wondering why, and just give my bodily inteligence time to let me know somehow, in form of a hunch feeling or so.
Today I know that all those things Mohamed and I were consuming, were making my rash worsen and spreading.
After 2 weeks time I did suddenly have a hunch feeling early in the day; I felt it sensible, that it had to be something from the stomach.
I returned home to Ibiza, and in up my village San Juan, everyone was reacting with a fearful concern about the sudden ugliness in my face. And when I explained and shared my hunch feeling, I was told about intestinal candida and how antibiotics cause such things.
The next day I started researching the gut issues of antibiotics online, and I also quickly learned, that it’s a condition which is not even part of the mainstream medicin and what the phama business teaches doctors, so there was no help there and my reaseach was telling me not to eat most things especially suggars, flour products, yeasta, milk products and no processed foods at all, not even caffeine.
I was on candida diet ~ fighting for 6 years. But I would still get rashes when sometimes a dressing or something at friends or in a restaurant would have some hidden ingredient.
Eventually I moved to Berlin with my boyfriend, where I found a doctor who had picked up on this condition and specialised in it. His extremely high doses of antifungal medicine beat up my liver/kidney, and I started feeling depressed and would cry for nothing much. But my rashes stopped.
But I also drank 2-3 fresh squeezed lemons/limes every day for the last 3weeks of taking that extremely strong medication. So it could have been the lemon and lime that helped me, or both, who knows!?
I had peace for 2 years, and then it started coming a bit again.
This time I found that a ruined gut easily gets parasites as well. So I did a natural treatment for that.
But I also found out that all there things cause a leaky gut, so I drank bonebroth for a week, and found raw milk.
I still look sick but I feel the milk working. …something feels good about it, and I feel a difference in my stomach. So I looked up raw milk experience and facts etc., and found a guy who healed his colitis and got off all his medications, by drinking raw milk. So I feel optimistic.
All the while, I also have realised that some part of all this is psychosomatic, and so I’m looking into that and battling trying things for that as well. My researches lead me to seminars about psychadelics, and after more than 2 years of looking into all about that, I now think a mega dose of psilosybin mushrooms will help heal and repair both the psychological as well as the physical aspects.
I honestly feel on the edge with my health, and psychologically broken ~too weak to solve my problems (after the years in Berlin with my older (no empathy ~huge ego) ex boyfriend).
Though this time, now I have met someone who has loads of empathy on all different evels, and in him I now have personal support and real loving. The only thing that is missing now, is to feel worry-free ~ safe enough to stop feeling stress of any kind, long enough to heal completely.
But let’s see how it goes with raw milk and sourkraut!?