Profound Happiness

Personal experience about profound happiness, is apparently something everyone wants to know. And when I look around I guess I am extremely lucky, to have more than one of such experiences.

Financial freedom and its independence always made me feel so good, being so free. But I have also felt wanting to give all of that away, just to have really intelligent, good and loving people in my life instead. …and environment that makes fuller sense for me in genral.

But how, in what ways do we actually achieve the happiness that doesn’t let you feel down about anything for too long? How does one achieve such profound happiness? Do any of us even really know!? Or do we just realize it allong the way?

The first time around, I realized that being enveloped estetic luxury, togetherwith listening to beautiful classical and reiki types of music all the while, makes me feel so high on life, that even all the things that would normally bother me in some way, just can get me.

Seccond time, years later, I realized that I also didn’t know how landscapes with blue skies in a warm climate could give me also help sum things up to such profound happiness that its as if you’re high on life and/or feel rather satisfied, and surely winning in life.

The third version of profound happiness, was with the two first ones combined. But none of them was anything I had ever expected or been even just aware of! I had no idea that these things had such effect on me.

But as well, all at the same time, some people are really just born happy go lucky, achieving what they desire rather fast and easy, especially compared to people in general, working hard or long for what they want. But having mett so many people globetrotting, traveling most of all my life, I can say that it seems as though none of them are really intelligent clever or smart, but just resonating that something most of us are drawn to; profound happiness. And being around them all the time for years, really helps immensely. You as well end up acheiving profound happiness. Environment truly is everything, for most of us. The company you have the most, usually does affect you enough in the long term.

Looking at those happy go lucky people, asside my own profound happiness experiences, it appears that we generally do not know, what will be of profound happiness to us, untill we are actually experiencing them. While most of us never experience enough in life to ever truly discover those natural highs of just life itself, and settle for some of the best fitting stuff that happens to be in our environment.

Let’s not forget that, and have a perfect day.

Next: Profound Happiness #2


imagining away like a child ~ creating the opposite in detail, automatically and continuously forever deleting the all self-absorbed, blind and crude behaviours and attitudes. 

I knew I hadn’t the psychological capacity at the moment, to withstand any of the negative and aggressive provocative energies, which always seem to be generated, in most any person taking coke on a daily basis, 24/7.

But mostly I find a way with anything, as there is a solution to everything. And sometimes you can turn a problem into an opportunity.

But I had decided to focus on all and any positive aspects I could find, and so I do it, against all odds, and against all impossibility. And what I arrive to in my fantasy, is almost to good to be true. …almost feeling like a lucky baby piggy so cute, but with wings. So soon I´ll be in shape again ~ all recuperated, and flying free again.

So I keep on doing this to survive, to keep my head above the poisonous waters here.

It’s so good to be here!
I’m so surprised how sweet and loving MY SIS is behaving. It almost freaks me out!? She is so open and honest about …wow!?, everything, even her substance abuse. We’ve never felt closer. And as we spoke and discussed about it, she said she found herself getting really clear about it with herself, for the first time ever feeling So extremely objective, from just talking and actually formulating all the feelings of it in to words to me, feeling safe to be deeply open and dead honest, laughing and frowning sometimes in agreement and sometimes in disagreement, freely without feeling disturbed for her openness ~without it ever being turned against her.
She is totally open to my feeling of things, and rather tries to explain to me what is good in something I disagree with, to get me with her on it. I mostly do feel with her in all, and end up having to chose voting for the better angle of options about some things. And she is so gracefully agreeing to disagree, without any anger and frustration.
She says she wants to enjoy being made more aware of different angles, of better suiting options to ponder, untill the day she makes the move to stop doing something, or till changes her perceiving point on something.

It was a nice long and very connected conversation, coincidentally no phones or any one or anything disturbing us, getting carried away in spilling our hearts to each other, and get tripping on digging deeper and getting even more clear about things, like we both know we both got some unidentified detail of dirt somewhere unnoticed, which needs some search and find, to figure out what it is, in order to figure out how to cleanse it out and away.
This time it was her, who felt most funny over how putting it in words to me, made it tangibly crystal clear to herself, revealing what she wants the next steps to be, and with that as well what the next work years shall look like. Feeling the epiphany to implement some new energetic changes and adjustment, of how and where to spend the most attention on the energy-flows.

AND IN THE REAL OF REALITY, lucky for her that I know, that she is so good in how she goes into what she has decided, and makes the way shine with her creative and humor. WHEN SHE REALLY WANTS SOMETHING.

as we got up, she reacted so sweetly when she saw my bio foods all placed in her kitchen cupboards with all her stuff, it made me feel so welcome. The fact that she was saying she found it so sweet, how I tried to match where she keeps what, and that it feels so cozy to see all my stuff filling out spaces here and there, that it feels like someone has arrived home.
She made me feel so wanted, appreciated and above all BELONGING, that I rushed to give her a long cozy hug, successfully interrupting the feeling to cry, feeling like I have landed in safety, in unconditional love, where I can let my “deform existence” be showing as it does (so I can absorb it and digest it, to get through it and rid of it), while also totally relaxing aside the process, being in a place where I am so wanted and appreciated, that I can’t do anything wrong, where my attention is automatically being changed to better happier thoughts ~better vibes, because I am in an environment of pure love. This is where I recuperate my health, and I can feel it already. This is where I heal my heart and spirit.

Ok, like this it does feel like having arrived home. Wow!? 

She reminds me so profoundly of what it feels like to be loved, that I realize I had forgotten a few depth factors of what it actually does inside me.

We do ALL NEED a safe space of pure unconditional love, to rest and recuperate.

When I expressed that I felt worried about exchanging the few of my euros, in fear of ending up in some situation where I don’t even have money to at least just leave, she couldn’t believe that I still considered her to even just maybe still be capable of behaving like that which we call jewish between the two of us (because she’s a quater jewish and has always had that tendency to be very stingy).
My only sister, and best influence. My serious, figure-it-all-out and organize-it-all, highly sensitive,  lonely, and in need of feeling loved and wanted Sister. At a time like this, why would you expect that I wouldn’t take good care in All ways of you.
And when you even heard all I did for that young guy, who had so much stupid depth, just for drugs!?, you don’t think I would do more for you!?” Then she paused for a while, while I had nothing yet to to say, and then she said ,,I have to say, that! bothers me. It hurt at first, but now it rather just bothers me. I think maybe you are also traumatized from me!?”

Then I immediately responded ,,No I’m just in a bad place with the world around me in general, for too long, so stuck in perceiving bad feeling things coming at me, used to getting hurt and disappointed, too much. I am not traumatized from you anymore, since those times I was here working for you, when your new job was still complete news to me, and you took me shopping on your bill every time. Then I was stunned, and you kept impressing me with lovely reactions. And you came after me in the park, where I had gone down to cry and wish over everything alone. Then you showed up, and I couldn’t believe it, I started, for the first time, to really truly feel your love for me, I was blown away and started to really believe in you from that time, realizing then and only then, that i had never, sensibly, before, felt such good faith in you.         But, … or And!?, now you take that … stuff, but you behave to me like you must be on e really instead!? No, I know you would pay my ticket or give me money for something necessary. But I so want to, not have to ask for anything, and be fully well off self sufficient and free financially. I know worry is a waste, I’m sorry. I am all lala up there man.”

Before we went to sleep she told me where she keeps the cat’s food, and asked me to please give him so and so much at whatever hours, while she’d be gone all day. And the whole way she was so normal cool and kind about it, it was just so relaxing and kind. All at ease.

I know it seems like I’m tripping, getting high on nothing. But this means the world to me. This means I have good family, which is even good-feeling for me also. That is big. That is huge for me.
And it also means, that I have not wasted my love, nor my time and efforts, our whole lives ..hahaa… We get our own paradise before any death. Together we always can do anything and everything, when in those good connected modes of ours, full of fearless unconditional love and trust. Then we are powerful. And it feels like we can conquer the world. …which is always a good sign.

She told me sweetly to please keep her only shiny pot shiny free from watermarks, exusing saying that she’s a bit fixated here and there. And I was like, no hahaa.. good fixation, I love that shit, it keeps things beautiful, and it keeps them lasting forever.

The second day, she was trying not to mind her phone and was much more With me for my feeling. Otherwise her job is her life, and she entertains herself and her clients with it by using her humor everywhere she possibly can. And she sure is funny. She is a natural comedian. She just doesn’t believe me really.

On the way to one of her so-called jobs, we stopped at a gas-station of the highway, and went together to the big empty bathroom where we ended up being silly and laughing like we used to do, especially as kids, uncontrollably.

The next day (not out of lazyness) she cancelled three bookings at work, and told the owner that it simply wasn’t worth it for her, and see you tomorrow kind of thing. Next she called her mom, and convinced her, by sweetly forcing her to not be able to say no, to being in on what we want to cook, so we can cook for us on her 1 phones-off no-work Day, in the spirit of Mila being home. Amplifying the subject as if we were a Mediterranean Spiritual family.

Wow this is very challenging! I feel kind of empty on this subject today, because there are several things/insidents, which I don’t see how to turn around to the opposite!?

Instead I’m getting filled with questions about why I have kept someone in my life, who is mostly too hurtful to me. While she aught to be the one to know me best and love me the most. Especially since I have none of my own biological family left.
I know several different loving answers for that, but it’s not the first time in life that she “makes me” feel like I should be some self-hating fool for not listening everyone else who loved me, and always disagreed of my having her in my universe at all. ….my little sister Ann-Carina……

Thanks to people like Esther Hicks, sharing her Abraham Teachings, I was doing exceptionally well here with this, to begin with, but how do I make an opposite reality-creation of things like this;

Being particular about different practical things while being the traveler/globetrotter I am, I often drag a load of food things with me, because of the experience I have with searching stuff in a different country, and the time takes to find it, if you find it at all.   But this time my reason for bringing my bio health food from Germany was also, because it’s so much cheaper, AND my gut clearly has some issue. While she knows all of this and whatever else gone on in my life, because I can never keep myself from talking about how I feel and what I’m dealing with in my life, equally much weather it’s good or bad.

But I offer her to try a peanut paste for cooking, saying we can make a sauce from it, as I always love to share nearly everything (I’ve learned it’s just a perfect good feeling way to be). ..which part she ruined (as usual, and in similar ways as my dad would ruin everything). So I make the mistake of speaking out from a silly (anxiety filled, poor, lonely, lost, currently now also homeless silly me) feeling ,,but you’re kinda´ wasting this precious product if you mix it with something like a Knorr product”. Which I said in a normal and laid back but still friendly way, a bit whiny like a little girl, in her kind of sweet way ~communication on her own terms “in her emotion-feeling language”, how she would do it and I would accept it ~love. But to which she reacted so hostile, and full of ugly shit filled the room. I indirectly apologized by saying I didn’t mean it like that, I just spoke out from an unfiltered feeling, because I’m in stress, and was dragging it all the way here by train, because I know you will be out of everything, hardly eating, not ever even buying these kinds of things anyway, and I don’t really have money right!?, so I drag it from Berlin to Randers.
But she has no mercy for anyone, not even for me, so she went on filling our joined universes with this personally mean/hateful ~unbearable energy, and keeps repeatedly saying, that we don’t touch each others foods at all, and buy each our own different foods.
But she knows I urgently need a psychological rest. And from this first day on (Monday or Tuesday it was), she has been using the paste daily, (typical her to do tuff like that) I could see it moving slightly all the time in the fridge, but hello!? I never actually opened it to check what’s going on, telling myself ,,naah, it’s just me traumatised from how she used to be”. But today, Saturday, I finally wanted to use it and found it practically too empty to make anything with.

What happened to the insisting by repeadedly saying, we don’t touch each others bla-bla.. and buy our own etc.!??

It feels a bit psycho-terror’ish for the person that she otherwise would be with me, and WAS with me, the previous time I was here. Before the crude substance returned with its energy effects, whichbshe also swore and believed it never would. But ok unexpected ways van happen, so it happened, and it is what it is. And it feels a bit self-psycho-terror’ish for me to have somehow allowed this to be possible to happen withing my life.

And this morning I get up to find my cale-chips crubled on floor ….

I asked how come, and she totally doesn’t feel a thing. Not even a giggly sorry, or anything!? Just straight up provoking my nerves n making efforts to make me disappointed~hurt~angry..

Looking at the sunset-view from her window, again the feeling comes up, how alone with everything and lonely I truly really am, but also how unnecessary such bad feeling life really is, when we can all just be wisely of love. …and at best eliminate the opposite.    I know all too well (from my own ways of being), how we can creatively from a selfless feeling of love, be there for each other through anything and everything.    So no never-having-suffered-anything type of person, or right out spoiled selfish person, or any other type of under-developed idiot, could ever fool me about how things can be.
No cold Scandinavian, German or other underdeveloped minds, could ever convince me (with their so obvious lacking in personal growth) that the entire nature and everything, should be so primitive like their own levels of understanding.

You can only see as you know. So if you don’t know much you can not perceive it all.

And now it feels like I’ve made enough effort to get out of here sane.

…and find better breads, as my environment/my influences. It does feel like times of “Due or Die”.


“DECODING” AHI – Active High Intelligence

First of all, AHI exists through the heart, and it is a scientific fact that intelligence from and through the heart. And funny enough, the hearts measured vibrational frequency is the samee frequency as that of the center of this globe that we live on, this earth, our planet.  

….even in the lazy, somewhat passive with the intelligence, it’s easily recognizable/detectable. 

Though Intelligence has not very much to do with being smart or clever, as that is mostly rather limited, and often a misuse of the potential, in which case it is not growing on a higher level, but a rather low level. Though once the adequate stimulation for so-to-say unblocking/unlocking high intelligece is happening, then the ones with that potential can not ignore it, nor work against it. As if nature in its own will. 

If we take into consideration, that we know we have come here, to not only have this experience, but that we have also come for this ride to learn, to grow and expand in all ways possible. While for some of us it was and is, a conscious decision for profound growth (and the more the merrier/the more the better/more flies in one smack is always a victorious glory of outstanding achievement) then obviously those of us are the ones who can not ignore those stimulus. 

Others are here to just have the experience, rather with the intention to check out the ride of life on earth. Tjey are the ones who don’t actually understand at least half of it all. Most often they are optimists in their views, hardly ever, or rather never, worry, and they typically poses a lala kind of easy going energy. But tthey are the kind of optimist who acn not even are earing you out when you need exactly that from your friend. They don’t wannaa know of anything that is not happy, or lala easy going. They rather have a totally fake/supefishial conversation, than a real juicy deep talk (which moves worlds and connects beings). They don’t feel the need to look deeper into anything or anyone, before they feel they have figured things/situations/people out. 
Basically not everyone is here to learn much, if anything at all, as from the base of the very essence, some are not that developed and/or layered / “that colorful” / that fine-tuned in details / so interested in the real deepth of everything, and while some might never be, many just aren’t yet. 

There are also the ones who are not at all here to even just grow, but rather to suck up the essence of everything, in their own different abilities to percieve. As there are always so-to-say opposites of everything, and as that obviously includes energy, and everything is made up of energies in the first place (being reflected in absolutely every living level of anyhing (sort of just to prove it, if you will, or not. Makes no difference to facts anyway) then in the big picture, it’s leaving there be any and every sort of beings on this earth, all co’existing side by side on the same globe. 

You can try to pull “up a dummer” friend with you to higher levels and watch them learn (slow at times but it seems) very well, almost as if effortlessly with you, and they will sometimes even exceed you in some things. But as soon as your ways part, often enough or long enough, that “dummer”/”simpler” friend (extremely occasionally just a terrified friend) will rapidly drop to some louzy low levels again, and/or mis use what they have learned from their times with you, underlining that they didn’t really learn~grow at all, but rather just took in the experience. Sometimes a person like that could even be, as if having totally opposite views on things, then they tend to have when around you long enough. They are not developed enough to have any fixed sense of most anything yet, so far they just link on to the fixed of their surroundings and ride with that as if it was their own. 

Others are willing to carefully (and even sensibly in each their own unique ways) take risks to know and feel what is out there and what something is like. Those are ones who want to understand profoundly, on all levels, and they know very well that there are many layers, levels and angles to most anything or anyone, and they are here to know it all, so they can understand everything, and their big picture is not just of life itself, but of way more things than they can even explain to others than each other. 

Others don’t have eyes for details but rather more for practicality in action. Rather than being inventors, they are the ones who are able to be so monotone that they create some form of rythm for a choreographed (predictable/monotone) way of life, with which they feel safe and cosy. 

While I am aware that I am not fully aware of all types of energies of people, of all types of beings. The types I have had the most of (and so far concider some of many subcategories, as though being-types are as well intervened/woven in with each other, much like genetics (while some energy-types of all life can be “pure breed” which do not nessesarily then have to be human at all -still talking of the energetic sence of being) here are the types I know the most, up-close in my life so far. 

While some beings seem to be of light, others seem to be of dark; 

• Some are here to have fun, have a ride. (they tend to be confidant and lucky, and to feed on/to ride on, the energies from people and situations) 

• Some of those are playing with shape-shifting of the essence of their very being. (they tend to be fanatic, using spirituality, but mostly lack depth and a sense for detail to really understand and connect, which is what keeps them at the door of thanging their being)

• Some are here to see n learn what it’s like. (they tend to follow) 

•Some are here to experience and learn inorder to grow. (they tend to keep changing, doing it all, going from thing to thing, some even up and down the levels of things)

• Some are here to serve. (Ironic as it may sound, they tend to be your best friend, while they are exceptionally their own at the same time)